Dear Diary
welcome into a brand new month of 2009. This short journey of 25 days till date has not been a bed of roses, but I shall not elaborate. All I shall highlight on is that I have came to understand the values of taking guardianship over someone; and I may have to bear some guilt over what I did to another one. Time shall unravel more.
There have also been lots of preparations for the upcoming festivities. It comes around the same time every year, but keep guessing. And no, it's not Mardi Gras- I would love to collect beads were it Mardi Gras. There were clothes to shop for, but not costumes and feather masks; there might be music throughout, but there would not be dancing in the streets. There would be food, but I welcome the break more than anything else. For the same reasons, I have not been home much lately.
I can finally take some days to stay in, avoid the crowd, and just write. Nothing keeps me more happy than having undulated hours to myself, lost in my tales, researching on facts at the same time to support my tales, and create what might be read by others someday. I have another project I want to work on but currently, with my evening classes commencing soon, I have to put the latter project on hold. I hope I will be strong enough to fulfill my desires, all in the good name of Art.
There is a certain problem with me, I suppose, that has recently been highlighted by friends.....and that is the inability to recognize myself the way others view me. And by that I do not mean to view my character or how I carry myself, but mere physical outlook. For some reason, my mirrors keep telling me that my face is round and that my eyes are getting smaller. it is the same with color tones - I can never see the darkness of my makeup regardless of the brightness of my surroundings. I love the dark eyeshadow plus red lips look. I have recently been told that my face is sharp/heart-shaped and I have huge eyes. Leaving me in a confused state, but solutions seem to be blurred.
it is just the same case of how I always tend to perceive myself as "rounded" but I am being told I am slim by many. To play safe, I am still sticking to my hopefully-meagre diet and nightly exercise/yoga practices. I am not anorexic - at least I still enjoy the finer food in life - but lately I picked up a new term that I deem rather befitting of my state - Nearlyrexic. Yes. Ponder on that.
Below are dresses I intend to wear for the festivities and some new reads. One of the dresses was obtained last month but I never found occasion to wear it - a white dress with black and blue prints and clear crystal buttons; the other dress is a violet-and-black gingham dress with a slanted, ruffled hemline.
