Dear Diary
I thought the title befits this post since May has indeed returned. At least on this entry. After April's entry, I had not managed to find time for May's. Therefore, this shall be a makeup blog for the month of May.
Lots of things happened, besides shopping, which I love. But at the same time, another factor seems to be sobering me against all these.. frivolous acts... oh no, not the financial determent. More like an awakening of a dream that I thought had been left to die.
With every birth, there comes a death. Such is the way of natural life. I shall not elaborate further. We should move on.
The overseas trip was nice, a tad too leisurely, though. I got to meet up with relatives, ate some good food, explored some new places, spent quality time with mon beau, and did some shopping. When I came back, I was home-quarantined (they put it in a nicer way though "working from home") for three days. That was before my own country even had any confirmed H1N1 case. You see healthcare personnel donned in space-suit garb and corporate clients taking overly-preventive measures. The office lines ring nonstop with inquiries about this pandemic flu; it was not hard to imagine how a stock broker feels in his job. Though, the difference in salaries may well be vast as an ocean.
A weird series of gastro pains finally made me feel alarmed enough to consult a doctor for it, but not enough to seek a specialist. Spasms of pain fillng the area below the chest. Sometimes it feels like the internal organs have detached from the body walls or there is a giant growth in there. I don't know. If I were wiser, I may very well consult a specialist on this. But I lack the courage to do it; I cannot even bring myself to go for an abdominal ultrasound. I am not afraid of death; its the treatment that frightens me. If I am meant to contract some weird bodily dysfunction, then may it be the Will of my Destiny. Though, it seems I am recovering slowly.
I have been out with professionals and famous people. The kind that you expect would behave in line with the stereo-typed, Hollywood-portrayed images. But hell, no. Some of them are far from gentlemanly... though, sometimes the question of "gentlemanly" leaves much to be debated upon. Women these days fight the equality in many ways; therefore men should have the right to denounce "gentlenmanly-ness" based on social status, career and age now, do they not? I guess, regardless of how wealthy or intelligent one is - be it doctors, lawyers, bankers, models or Warren Buffett wannabes, they ae still flesh and blood.
I do not find them impressive. I may respect them, but I do not need to do anything special to buy their hearts or start falling on my knees on some form of hero worship. I do not understand why many of us out there are so easily impressed or intimidated. The only form of hero worship I would ever do ... would most possibly to my own faith, in my Deities.
There goes another entry. Its amazing how an awakened wave of pain can be the push factor for forgetten dreams that should rise like phoenixes from the ashes. But yet, this has act like a sobering factor like I mentioned above.. and now I see clearer my regrets making paths for a sharper future. Stay with me, mom cheries.
