I dont usually update my journal more than once a month, but I reckon there are things that transpired lately that requires more blogspace, uncaptured in my earlier entry. By this experience, I shall stick to the proven belief that blogging at the end of the month (instead of beginning) is more efficient since I do not have to sum my month up in double entries.
The flu bug is going on and off. I wish I could simply cast a net over it and toss the entire net of flu bugs out the window and recover. Like a snap of the fingers.
Events in my life are picking up, I believe, thanks to the power of my Deities. The exam module I supposedly failed? I was appealing desperately, to Murdoch's Council, but heard nothing from them in the two troubled weeks. My Deities heard my prayers, and cast a beautiful dream to me in which I was sitting in front of my laptop (the expensive one sitting at home) logging in to re-check my results and miraculously, they were modified and I passed. After all, how could someone with distinctions get a Fail? Anyway, I logged on to the same site the next day, and witnessed the miracle manifesting. And other areas of my life are improving too.
These days, many of my dreams are frighteningly real. It makes me miss the nightmares and paranormal dreams I used to savor.
I have changed from someone who was adventurous and loves to try different things to someone who makes choices based on cravings and loyalty, sadly. For instance, if I love a certain dish at a certain restaurant, I would be having this same dish everytime I revisit the restaurant, instead of selecting something else from the menu. Or I would stick - like a die-hard fan - to preferences such as my penchance for Coffee Bean over Starbucks coffee and how I would always support Yahoo over Google. Not sure if this is a good or bad change.
There are upcoming festivities as mentioned in an earlier entry. The marts and malls are filled to the brim with walking, breathing human beings trying to fill their fridges, cabinets or wardrobes for the upcoming festivity. It saddens me at times to note, though, that while the rest of us are preparing for a celebratory event, there are those out there who cannot even earn their keeps for a meal a day, let alone shop for redundancies such as festivals and events. It makes me want to reach out to them and offer solace, sometimes, but I do not have that ability to do this for everyone.
I met up with a close uncle relative of mine today and I realize how much he has aged, just like my parents, over the years. I started thinking back to the days when they were younger and the jovial laughter shared. I think back to how they work hard to provide us (their descendants) with good lives, asking for nothing in return, just wanting us to do well for our future. I suddenly feel like crying at the fear of losing them, of not having these people in my life anymore. It makes me feel vulnerable, like a child. And I hate this feeling.
To think that I stepped out of my house just this morning, happy and light-footed! In fact, I was happy even after a meeting at The Place. Then I had to run into someone I have no wish or desire to see or hear from ever again. No, I did not deliberately meet my client at The Place because this person told me he was leaving town today. I did not even care about the details. I did not even remember that he might be around. Until he appeared. And I do not understand why he bothered to say hi.
I do not understand how we met at my workplace and end at his. How, the chance encounter could bring about so much hope and joy and an odd development thereafter. How he could say the things he said and how I had to internalize his words, perhaps recited casually. How he knew he was lying all along and how disappointed I was when the truth came to light. And he always had to have the last word. Despite the shards which are the aftermaths of what occurred, he had the nerve to acknowledge me in a place where I forgot about him, and he was trying to sound like we were cordial, still. It makes me think of my very own poem - especially these 2 verses "Not friend, not lover, not foe, You were just Lies in flesh and blood" or something.
But then again, all along, I should've learned that words of (almost all) men are not to be taken seriously or trusted. To err is human, just like to believe is folly.
I seldom mention emotions or personal stuff on my Blogs. I guess this would be the closest you would get to take a peek into my personal life.
Before the curtains fall, I would like to wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day.
Black dress with bold red roses at skirt part
sexy and short netted black dress
checked dress with black skirt. My first Tee-dress.