Dear Diary
as I am penning this entry right now, a million thoughts are racing through my mind and I am kept awake at 4am in the morning. Sleep eludes me, and my own naked thoughts delude me.
This is my month. Yet it is not one of the best months I've had. Lots of shopping. Lots of meeting up with my wonderful friends. A mini trip made possible by mon beau and a public holiday. The latter was fun - it was the second time I went to that place. I spent sometime alone, while mon beau wasted his money in the Casino sitting on the losing end.... I entertained myself by going for slow rides, window shopping and a fish spa treat. I welcomed the break very much. Time doesnt allow me to travel to a further destination - I might have to give my favorite country a miss this year.
I have been emotionally disturbed, but I need to keep it aside and focus on my work. I did not come back to this industry so that I could execute a "fail and hop".... Yet I know I have not been giving my best. I need to work harder and continue to improve. Learning does not stop at any point in our lives. And once my career stabilizes, I may have room to pursue my other interests such as Psychology and fashion. Call me versatile... but I have so many passions in life yet so little time to work them all out. I need better time management and Apollo's energy.
I have changed much this year, I feel. Call it the maturing process, the aging effects or .... toning down period. But it, inevitably, is happening. I tend to take things more lightly, and handle them in a calmer manner. Those who do not know me before, may not know how demanding and spoiled I could be. Perhaps it was young age that gave me the freedom to be so, but my temper had caused pain to many who cared for me, and caused thwarts in a couple of potential careers. Every offender who crossed my path, I would be severely affected and need to plant vengeance. I have reached the stage whereby I do not concur with the theory of "an eye to an eye" anymore. Perhaps it is due to my religion and its teachings, but these days, I leave vengeance to Fate. It does not mean I have slowly evolved into a doormat, though. My tongue is still sharpened to razor points and my mind is still open to devious ideas, should harm come my way. But generally, I get over things in an easier light.
This is not one of my most fascinating entries. But nonetheless, I thank you for reading. It is going to be another busy, appointments-filled weekend, so stay tuned for May's updates!
