Title: November Rain
Dear Diary
Time's wings have spread and I find myself flipping the last two pages of my monthly calendar. I look back and try to recall what I have done, and achieved so far - though the year is not over yet.
Thought the shining stars weren't shining down upon me lately. The other day I felt so awful I wanted to head home and just give myself some quality "me" time, perhaps release some endorphins, perhaps drink a little.
But as I was having my long-awaited home-cooked dinner, my family members began to engage me in current affairs - at least on the local front. Brutal teens slashing each other up, going on their hacking sprees. It was kind of surreal in our well-protected, sheltered and safe little island, but I guess times have changed.
It made me realize that there are sadder, more tragic happenings out there. Events that have far more serious consequences than my little setbacks and emotions. Events that I should pay more heed to, rather than hiding in my own shell.
It also made me realize that my family is so dear to me.
And I sincerely hope the teens that are involved with these heinous crimes, know what they're doing exactly. If what they're doing, is merely out of boredom or a second's worth of 'glory' within their gangs, of 'victory', then I hope what comes next serves them well and best. I hope they bear no regrets, just guilt, to their pathetic tiny graves or asylum cells.
Christmas is around the corner and the malls are already blasting carols, the cafes are already donned with faux snow and icicles, and other retailers have already packaged the perfect gift items for shoppers to choose from. I dont know, there is something about Christmas - Yuletide, that gets me very excited, like a kid.,It doesnt matter the year, the situation, the location....It makes me just want to hang out at the malls and shop, bake, eat and buy presents. And then I would think back on the past years... how Christmas was spent.
When I was young, my uncles and cousins would come to town. We'd have fun together, eating, choosing Santa hats, opening gifts, writing to the Claus. Then there were parties and curfews, drinking, singing, overseas trips. I realize the only "Christmassy" thing I never got to do is to attend a midnight mass. Heard its beautiful.
Sometimes you just get nostalgic and start missing your friends terribly, dont you? Throughout my life stages, I have always been fortunate to be blessed with fun-loving, good people who eventually become my close buddies. I do know my acquaintances and set them apart, but I have truly made many good friends out there - friends who have been with me for ages, and I really appreciate the friendship, even if some of them are no longer in my life due to demise, misunderstandings or relocation etc.
It just makes me miss those good old days when all I had to do was lift the phone off the hook, dial, or flip my cellular, when I was bored, and I would get many replies to go out. Dinners, hanging out, drinks, movies, pool, etc. So much that I had to mix my different circles of friends so that I could make time for them altogether. The word "bored" or "lonely" never crossed my mind, and when I had some alone time, it was a bliss.
Lately, we've all grown up, grown old, moved on to different stages of our lives where careers and families come first. Sometimes I want to go out so badly, but "when I dial the telephone, nobody's home" (quote "All by Myself" by Celine Dion).
No, though, I am not lonely. I have my family, lovely colleagues and mon beau, and still, friends.
Just one of those weird, melodramatic entries. I dont even know why I penned it.
But here's November for you. Rainy season. KIsses....
