Dear Diary
Time flies by faster than the speed at which my fingers are flying across the keyboard (and mind you, my typing speed is currently at at least 80 wpm). Faster than the winds could distinguish a blazing candleflame. You mean Independance Day has passed? You mean I have missed another Friday the 13th?
I know not what new updates there are, there I feel worthy of writing. What, that each day that flies by reminds me that I am getting closer to the big 30? That with each happy event I celebrate for myself or my friends, I need to leave some space in my heart for the suffering? That with each tragedy i witness, I needto be prepared to lend my hand or ears? I used to believe this was what I was born for, but life takes turns that lands one in strange corners and when we emerge we are often changed.
Things appear so uncertain now, sometimes I cannot bear to think about it. I only wish I had paid more attention to my dreams- which often forewarns of events or occurences that will occur eventually. Who is this guardian angel or higher entity who often keeps me from harm and shows me the future?
I feel like Queen Mary of Scotland when she was awaiting her verdict. Things seem so shady now, I wish I had an inkling. Though I live, breath, work and go out for teas and dinners everyday, I live with this fear everyday. Alternatives are constantly thrusting themselves in my head, at times I feel like i am shopping for a solution. Jeffrey Archer has a book that I soon may be re-writing. Well, not literally, but the worst case scenario may give me the experience to create more works from. There are supportive people I have met, but the sins have been planted. I could wish the harm-bringer the most awful death possible - hell, I may even be capable of inflicting it someday - but I shall not. If I believe in my guardian angel / higher entity, I believe too, that this harm-bringer shall suffer worse, at the hands of my unseen protector.
Speaking of books, my book is out. Anyone who wishes details or information on getting a copy, feel free to contact me directly at mysterious_glow023@amystickalgrove.zzn.com. It's freaky, because my publisher has never met me in person or seen my most recent picture before, but the girl illustrated on the cover page bears an uncanny resemblence to me.
They used to warn me, "be careful what you wish for". I believe these six words now. If I could wish all over again, trust me, peace and simplicity is all I yearn for. Perhaps this is just not my year, or the accumulation of past shadows catching up.
Till my next update, sunshines, un soleil. Kisses and all my love.
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