Dear Diary,
What if, one day I forget what its like to sleep?
I couldnt think of a more suitable title for this month's entry therefore it shall be called, plainly, "August in a Nutshell".
I have been busy - but I have to admit, a little lazy as well. I hope I can complete my client servicing by next month and get started on a new project for the final quarter of the year. After all, it is the most crucial period.
Tonight is one of those weird nights.... perhaps it is the effect of the Full Moon... I have zero idea, but my mind is filled to the brim with thoughts raining unto my skull. A million thoughts and sensations are running through me like currents through an electrical piping as well, and I have absolutely no control over these wild emotions.
I have been suitably disturbed by certain things that occurred recently. Enough to wonder about human nature and attempt to decipher the acts of others in a logical manner. I have always been fair. Even if I do abhor someone, it does not mean I let my emotions cloud my logical mind, or blind me to their positive points. Lately, though, there have been many instances I wonder if I have failed myself - and my Psychology training miserably. There are so many passing minutes I wish I could take back, I wish my body would act in accordance to what my mind urges.
And tonight, is one of those nights I wish I could write the night away. I do not wish to enter the foggy doors of slumberland, or the arms of Morpheus. For my dreams of late have been unusual. I wish my quills and parchments could take me away from the reality of this life, once more. The mind is still my safest abbot.
I really loathe it when males make comments on a female's makeup directly to her. I may still be old-fashioned, but I believe many females should feel the same way too - I believe we do not appreciate hearing comments about our makeup, unless the male who makes the comment is homosexual, an old-time friend or a makeup artiste. Otherwise, I think it is very imprudent. After all, most of us females apply makeup to look and feel good, other than mere courtesy to our clients. I especially detest it when the more idiotic tier comment that a female's makeup is thick just because she uses darker hues. By definition, "thick makeup" is when the powder or foundation upon the face is unnatural, because of the multi-layered being applied to give the illusion of flawlessness. Like putting beige paint onto the face.
But if one merely sees dark-colored makeup and comments that it is "thick makeup", then these individuals
deserve a good ticking off on the difference between "dark" and "thick". I have people telling me my makeup is thick solely based on my lip or eyeshadow colors. I find this to be a major anti-orgasmic remark as I do not think my eye or lip makeup is thick. I probably use the same layer any female does - just that I select a darker hue. It does not indicate that I smear on my eye or lip makeup in multiple applications to achieve the colors I want! The next person who comments that my makeup is "thick" solely by looking at my eye or lip color, will get a verbal lashing from me for sure. Sometimes men just dont understand the trouble females go to to attempt enhancing their looks to be quasi-pleasant at least. That is such a shame.... like childbirth... one of the things men would never understand.
I met up with a friend recently, from a previous job in the same company, but a different department. It reminds me, of how much I still do think back on, and miss my previous job. How good life was back then - to work easy hours, close cases, go out, enjoy attractive staff benefits, and still get a very comfortable pay every month. Those were the days - those were also the days I enjoyed my working life most, and regret not having cherished it more.
Those were the ways that shaped my woes of today as well.... secrets that I could only keep till the day I see my grave.
sounds drastic. But there is still a lot to me yet. Many sides. Many tales.
That was the past. Live not for it, but for the present, and the future.
And for a very busy upcoming September. I. love. my. Deities...
and you, mon amigas.
