Aghast August

Dear Diary, 

August creeps so gently in, I almost missed the line it has crossed.

Thus begins the belief in the seven-year itch, in con-artist's use of magic to influence, in winning wars, in healing holidays, and cherishing the support garnered.

The seven-year itch? Aye, simply a repetition of uncertainties and unpleasantries, like a test waiting for me to pass. It was almost deja vu.

Con artists? Aye, that too. So now its material loss and a trade at stake. Oh well, lose them I shall, but they will someday burn at my own stakes. Sweet things are worth waiting for.

Wars to be won? Mais oui. If I do not, there would be the tattoo of darkness against otherwise unblemished realms. The verdict was a shock, it still stuns me, it all feels so surreal. Sometimes I feel like I'm preparing for a funereal event. So, I have to win this war, by all means. This is indeed a test, a time in which my mind has to work hard, and fast. I am so proud of some of the things I have thought of I am certain there’s a genius in me – just wish I’d worked it harder months back.





Healing holidays on a hiatus basis? I suppose they could help- last week it was a city reachable by coach buses. Food, caves, food, and shopping, and my best friend in le monde.  Next week, the destination would be a city reachable by flight, vineyards, chocolates, animals with pockets below the bosom, and a new good friend's hospitality. Frivolous? Mais non, its a remedy.

I am thankful for the support of those who know the truth and believe only the truth. Speculations and rumors have flown, but only those who deserve the truth were accorded such. Its in times like this I see clearly who're the keepers and who're those to be shown the doors.

August, tres exciting. Its the most memorable thus far. Still, I shall let the rest of this peculiar year slowly unfold ...

Bask in my love in the meantime, sweethearts. Au revoir.

-----<-------(@

For the month after June

Dear Diary

Time flies by faster than the speed at which my fingers are flying across the keyboard (and mind you, my typing speed is currently at at least 80 wpm). Faster than the winds could distinguish a blazing candleflame.  You mean Independance Day has passed? You mean I have missed another Friday the 13th?

I know not what new updates there are, there I feel worthy of writing. What, that each day that flies by reminds me that I am getting closer to the big 30? That with each happy event I celebrate for myself or my friends, I need to leave some space in my heart for the suffering? That with each tragedy i witness, I needto be prepared to lend my hand or ears? I used to believe this was what I was born for, but life takes turns that lands one in strange corners and when we emerge we are often changed.



 Things appear so uncertain now, sometimes I cannot bear to think about it. I only wish I had paid more attention to my dreams- which often forewarns of events or occurences that will occur eventually. Who is this guardian angel or higher entity who often keeps me from harm and shows me the future?

I feel like Queen Mary of Scotland when she was awaiting her verdict. Things seem so shady now, I wish I had an inkling. Though I live, breath, work and go out for teas and dinners everyday, I live with this fear everyday. Alternatives are constantly thrusting themselves in my head, at times I feel like i am shopping for a solution. Jeffrey Archer has a book that I soon may be re-writing. Well, not literally, but the worst case scenario may give me the experience to create more works from. There are supportive people I have met, but the sins have been planted. I could wish the harm-bringer the most awful death possible - hell, I may even be capable of inflicting it someday - but I shall not. If I believe in my guardian angel / higher entity, I believe too, that this harm-bringer shall suffer worse, at the hands of my unseen protector.



 Speaking of books, my book is out. Anyone who wishes details or information on getting a copy, feel free to contact me directly at mysterious_glow023@amystickalgrove.zzn.com. It's freaky, because my publisher has never met me in person or seen my most recent picture before, but the girl illustrated on the cover page bears an uncanny resemblence to me.

They used to warn me, "be careful what you wish for". I believe these six words now. If I could wish all over again, trust me, peace and simplicity is all I yearn for. Perhaps this is just not my year, or the accumulation of past shadows catching up.

Till my next update, sunshines, un soleil. Kisses and all my love.
-----<-------(@

Mid-year scripts

Dear Diary

I do not know where to begin. June has slowly crawled its way into 2012's belly and there's fire literally - its so hot I fear the icebergs will melt at the poles and we'll all die by draughts or floods eventually. Maybe the Mayans were prophetic- who knows?

I don't really care.

Last month had been like an episode out of some televised drama - the good fun and bad fun made up the rides of an emotional roller-coaster that I probably rode for the first time in my life. There was a holiday trip in which I enjoyed for the mountains and great food; there were celebrations for the good old mom; there was news that my book is ready for order soon; there was the great relevation that someone I trusted is a crook and I am am meeting my Lawyer to try to bring him to court, and then there was the visit from my best friend and her beau. So I played tour guide and enjoyed the mini tours and catching up as well.

Hectic-ness over, it is back to work, peace, meditation, studies of the Craft, financial planning for myself and more work. I am using a new business model. That, and I signed myself up as a volunteer in Red Cross and WWF.

  

And I got really interested in the news lately, greedily savoring them everyday, keeping myself busy on collecting knowledge on what's happening around the world these days. Disasters, shootings, accidents, financial crisises - good to know the world is making merry sadistically!

GARBAGE is coming to town in August. I have loved Shirley Manson's (isnt she lovely?) voice and the band's dark, cynical lyrics since young. They made sense (still do), and they dare to attack many topics on hand. I waited for over a decade and there's no way I will miss their gig here. Take a listen to their "Milk" , "The World is not Enough" and "Stroke of Luck" to get yourself familiarized.

    

At the meeting today, my director was flashing some picture of a French restaurant on the slide and when no one knew how to pronounce the name, he suddenly said," Elle looks french, do you know how to pronounce this?" Huh. What a stunner, Boss. He is not on my Facebook, nor do I do anything French in the office, so how does he know my penchant for it? I do read French, but I can't really speak it oops. Lessons are in order.

Till July, mon cheres.

-----<-----(@

MAY-fair curse

 

 

Dear Diary

I had to re-check the calendar thrice to ensure that May has taken the year by storm, and in its place, a fiery debris of memories yet again- how does time travel at such a speed unbeknownst to men? This speed is accursed, unnatural!

Gawdamn.

April was spent chasing books about the 1800s approaching the turn of 1900s - Tracy Chevalier's "Fallen Angels", Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre" , an auto-biography of Lady Caroline Blackwood's life "Dark Muse", and Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations". We always wish we had the fortunes Pip has. We always wished that we could go back in time, to the perfect era, and what would that be? Victorian? The Golden Ages? The Dark Ages? Watching "Midnight in Paris" made me realize that no one would ever be satisfied with their present life; we often wish we could escape to a time we deem perfect, a time which's difficulties we would never know because it may not be accounted for. Lavatories and sanitarian facilities ought to be rather telling. I do hope though, that I have not contracted Sohotis.

Spent partying, dining in celebration of something (quite a fair bit of French and Italian cuisine), tearing off some chapters of my life to refill it with new ones, and yes, working quite hard. Spent attending wakes and hospitalisation visits instead of happier events. Spent listening repeatedly to some songs -
Muse's "Resistance"
Michael Balls' "The Play Must Go On"
Craig Armstrong's "This Love"
Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts"
Christina Perri's "The Lonely"
Amy Winehouse' "Back to Black"
Raul di Blasio "Barroco"
Yanni's "One Man's Dreams"

Chopped the long waist-length tresses off - goodbye, french braid secured by my Ferragamo clip; goodbye, high ponytail that I love - to a breast-length hair which I'd straightened by re-bonding. Took me a long time to decide, between coloring, perming or rebonding it. I was at the salon from 2000 hrs till 12 midnight - bless the hairstylist.

It frustrates me that I have not been able to be a disciple of the Craft properly all this while.

It frustrates me that I have to resort to legal threats again to resolve a problem. Sometimes kindness can be a cruel joke upon ourselves.

It frustrates me that my poetry submissions to the online journals have been rejected- I'm beginning to think it may be easier getting a book of poetry out.

It frustrates me that I have having cravings for a chocolate found only at Marina Bay Sands - the one with the preserved fruit atop it; and cravings for Whittakers' chocolate bar with the fruit and nut at this unsavory hour.

It frustrates me that my first planned trip was being delayed and subsequently ceased to happen, by the complacency and nonchalance of someone I thought was a friend. The saddest thing is that she does not even seem to regret her own irresponsible actions.



It frustrates me that I have been so accident-prone lately - first I fell and hit my head during the hospitalization period, then I cut my finger one day when I was preparing to make fresh juices (the sight of the blood was gratifying, but the pain was nothing compared to that experienced by my heart), and recently a demostration of toughness (or the bracing of a fall, depending on which version you may choose to revere in) brought about a bruised knuckle. I was just short of splitting it, but its a pain I sought myself. I only wish it had landed on the intended target.

Though, sometimes I believe that (or perhaps, as a consolation to myself), that certain things happen so we may learn to experience the mishaps others been through, to gain compassion and be more understanding, less intolerant and more patient. For instance, I would never have known how it feels like to undergo a semi-concussion or the boredom of a hospital stay, the pain of IV drips. And now, the pain and clumsiness of having to rely one one good hand - it makes me imagine the strength and determination of those who are unfortunate enough to suffer the loss of either limb/organ, and makes me cherish my own health more.

I am looking forward to the upcoming trip in a week's time - lots of interesting food, tea huts in the mountains, perhaps some shopping, and of course, the study of another culture. I love cultural differences, I wish that the erosion hadnt set in with the advancement of technology.

And the *Feith is coming over to town come end May. This I cannot wait, as well. It is always a delight to see her, to make a mess of whatever hotel room she resides in, and to share everything together. My best friend in the entire world. This is also the month to show our gratification to the Mothers.

I went into a deserted estate the other night - partly to explore, partly to take a walk amongst these empty buildings that used to be filled with life an vitality - now they are just waiting to be demolished, along with the energies of their occupants that would never leave the wombs of these apartments. Haunting, perhaps, but it was beautiful, this emptiness, I felt no threat nor fear...

I went for a sprint cum jog the other evening, with thoughts in my mind and a million emotions to fuel whatever energy I lacked. It felt good, after so long. It felt good to charge ahead, to feel the winds caressing my ears, to feel the lands making way for me, and to see nature as it is, again. My calves may hurt after the sprint, but my thoughts were cleared, my anger dissipated, and I felt alot healthier. I ought to do this more often. Sometimes, one wishes they could just run... and run... and run, and never have to look back or trip...

Boring entry, off to trying my abracadabra now. With that, I leave you in the good hands of the Night's caress.... kisses.
Bon nuit, ma cheres
----<----(@

 

 

 

black, long-sleeved, short dress with silver details and puffy shoulder design- its love at first sight pour moi

Black satin dress with gold-and-silver metallic details, very Indie. I promised myself not to buy flare dresses, but this accessories-free dress just beckons me so

metallic red dress with racer back and a long gold zip at the back. It was lust at first sight in this case...

 

 

 

April belongs to Aries

Dear Diary

Yes, April belongs to Aries. There is a special significance to this month. This will be a long entry, bear with me.

But firstly, I am trying to work with this MacBook thing. It is so confusing - the applications are complex, the structure is unfamiliar, and I didnt even know I had to replace "Ctrl" with "Command" in order for my commands to work. Oh well, never truly been an Apple fan, just learning the ropes. You need to remember that I loathe technology to begin with. I have to admit that MacBook is a lot faster than the Windows and whatnot I have been accustomed to, though.

I received another acceptance for my manuscript from another publisher. This one was unexpected because they had a stringet set of standards and evaluation (I saw the questionnaire - intimidating!). Too bad I have already agreed to let PublishAmerica take over.  I do hope I may get the chance to work with Leadstart on my other books or poems, though.

a

 

This will be a very social month for me, in the celebration of the day my presence became part of this world. Every year it is like a mini procession - food, drinks, singing, dancing etc, simply because I have so many different groups of friends and they're people I try not to let mingle for many reasons. I love the chance to catch up and enjoy good times together. I love these people who have been shown the way into my world for a reason, our paths have crossed and we are still intact.

Like the *Pris who've been my close friend for more than two decades; the thick and thin we been through.
Like  *Faith and *Charliez, who know me inside out for more than a decade regardless of distance and what unpleasant history we might've had.
Like Jas, MY, AL and Crys - my gems. We must've grown up together in lecture halls and then the clubs of our days.
Like the Swn gang - especially Gary, Cynthia and Linda, a decade of keeping a lookout for each other and exploring hangout spots.
Like Ed, Chris, GY and Ash - there's no telling when virtual becomes reality and thanks for the listening ears lent.
Like the Russian Blonde and Charl - who would've thought we could talk about anything, everything, and leave nothing out?

Then the budding ones I've come to love in the recent years for all that we've shared, and all your care and support -  my banker pal JC, fellow Aries R, closer male colleagues, some clients who've become tight friends, Sherwin, Mazia, Loren, Tammie etc. Did I miss anyone out? I pray not, if not it would defeat the purpose of this mini thanksgiving for my amigas. I couldnt imagine my life without you - you're all so different but you have a piece of me, all of you, whenever you need me.

Close friends understand that while I may dedicate alot to them when I can, and that I can treat them well, I guess they would also understand that I could cut them away without any qualms, anytime I feel the need to. Along the years, I have shred some friends who have been with me for years - those who I feel, do not put in efforts to keep the friendship afloat, or they break my trust. Its "Adieu" - in the farewell forever sense, not an "au revoir" with promises to meet up again. And if I decide to cut someone away, I will feel nothing for them whatsoever. I will do nothing more for them, no need to be too sentimental there.

 

Thats an Aries for you. The common traits of one - charming but impulsive, creative but direct, do not trust easily, but dependable, fickle-minded but passionate. I am all of that, and I am none of that. I can be charming and friendly when I want to be, but there are many I choose to be aloof or professional towards. Aries may be fickle-minded, but we are strong as well. Our minds and hearts may wander at times, but it doesnt take long for the strong side of us to take over and brush away the weakness. Creative? Sure, during these two weeks of my birthday "procession", besides the outings, wining and dining, I have been playing the keyboard (for lack of a piano) and brushing up on my Francais (French the language) again. 

There are two vacations upcoming. Im already itching to get out of here for some fresh air, nature, and cultural differences. 

I know, its sinful, but I really need a break. After all, Im healing from something currently. The hard work will kick in once again come May.

Recently I went to the Titanic exhibition as well. Love how they furnished the galleries to make one feel like they were really onboard. That, paired with the book I'd just completed recently, forms the perfect escapism for me, making me wish that once again, I was cast into the wistful desire to be back during the 19th - early 20th century again, in France or the UK.  There is something magical about that era and these countries that seduces me like an ethereal lover. I cannot fathom why or how exactly. 

Finally, the parting shots - some poetry I've written recently - click on them for a sneak preview before they come out in print version.

(i)    Facets
(ii)   Iceberg Memories
(iii)   A Song for You
(IV)  Losing the Game
(V)    Lament of a Frosted Heart

 

Thats all for now. My love to you.

---->----(@

 

 

MARCH-ing forward

Dear Diary

March is a busy month laden with catching up of appointments postponed and social gatherings cancelled due to what happened in late February.

After the flurry of festivities and getting into the momentum of starting work, miracles and miseries decided to blend into my life.

There was a company Dinner and Dance in which I was one of the honored award-winners and got to make a small speech - my first.

 

I received news from PublishAmerica that they have accepted my manuscripts and would be producing my book! That psyched me up, of course. Mais oui. It would be like a dream come true for me, since I have been wanting to write and publish my own book. After several failed trysts, I was contemplating using one of those self-publishers instead... but thankfully I did not have to resort to that.

Then the license for my to sell general insurance to complement my main life insurance sales came through shortly after that. Meaning to say, I can now be a one-stop agent to all my clients, and of course, more revenue.

So.... things were getting into the swing and BANG (literally!)- I had my very first hospital stay with ruptured cysts and a bang on my head when I fell in the middle of the night. It was a frightening experience, to say the least. I went to a posh hospital, the service was not bad, and I am thankful to all those who have shown their concerns in some way. In a way I dont know if I had cursed myself somehow - in my book the lead character was hospitalized in February, though for a different reason.

Do you believe in dreams and the power of thoughts?

 

You could call it mumbo-jumbo, but I do believe in its magic.

I was looking through my Dreams Diary just last night, and it stunned me to discover that there were many fragments of my life - however small - that had been shown to me in some dreams before. At the point in time I did not see the significance, but browsing through the journal, I began to understand the meanings of many of these dreams. Wow. Is this clairvoyance or passing into a dimension in which I caught a glimpse of the future by accident?

Then my beloved and loyal laptop - the one for home use - had finally died on me, after churning out the final manuscript for my first book. Rest in Peace, dearie.

Shopping for a nice gown for an Awards Night next Friday evening.

I am glad to be able to get back into normal routine and do what I have always done before I fell sick - work, shop, dinners, drinks etc. Even spending 2 weeks "working from home" i.e. working on my writings would be better than being a patient, being fussed upon, being taken care of totally, and not being able to accomplish much other than reading fashion magazines, watching senseless dramas or sleeping the days away.

 

Final note, I have nto been composing poetry for a while, and it kind of bothers me.

Oh, and touching on "working from home"... it is something I will never do. Never mix your business time with home time or bring the two into union. It is like bringing your wife and your mistress together - soon there would be no peace or secrets either side. Furthermore, "working from home" takes away one's social skills and grooming skills - all you face are the computer screens and soon, it would be too easy to work in T-shirts and shorts. Not for me, dear god.

Now, if only I could have a glass of "tears of angels" - wine.

Au revoir, ma cheres. There will be more of me in April's entry.

 

 

Febulously Fresh

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up to Darkness lingering outside my frosty windows and was tempted to slip back into it.

It is February, still a very cold month in many countries, it appears. Mayhaps the predictions about the end of the world is not too far-fetched, since the weather patterns are a-changing, and natural disasters are taking the earth by storm.

If the world is truly dying slowly, I would just spend all my monies on vacations around the globe, absorbing every bit of culture and the beauty of the foreign lands, admiring all the art-forms, and trying out every adventure and cuisine available. I would write a journal on it - who knows, a few centuries some future archaeologists may dig it up and discover what Earth used to be like, during this period.



I love the Spring Equinox. There was massive clearance of things I no longer needed, or felt the need to keep. I also rearranged alot of things in my room; I'd read in a Wiccan book before that it is always good to re-position objects in a certain environment regularly, to allow a good flow of energy. This part was the hard work, both physically and emotionally - physically, because of the need to shift the items around and double-confirm everything I was discarding; emotionally, because as I went through the keepsakes I was re-discovering parts of myself that I'd forgotten about. But I definitely felt alot better after the entire fiasco - dust to dust, ashes to ashes, as I toss ye to the fires, burn ye with the pains of the past...



There were visits to the homes of families, friends and clients, where I enjoyed great food and cookies and catching up over games of Blackjack. There was a mini tour conducted for relatives from abroad who were visiting. There were shopping and meeting of friends and I'd started another novel in this short week. I am excited, and eager to finish it soon, alongside the other two novels I am working on.

There are dinners and trips coming up, something to look forward to now that the festivities have cleared.



I bought a book today, since the author himself, Tony Gordon, was in town. I thought his book was very easy to read, and inspirational, and it was an autographed copy, anyway. I bought it in the hope of doing better in my business, but also, for a clearer understanding of the insurance sales industry in the U.K. since two of my novels evolve around that. It was almost like a sign from my Deites, since I do not know any insurance sales personnel in the U.K. personally.

The rate that time is flying by is scary. I wish I had more of it, or that I could rewind back to the periods I have chosen the wrong paths to wander.  But alas, everything could be cheated - the law, death, love, games, money.... but we can never cheat TIME.  I wish I could, but it always outsmarts me; it cheats me instead.

Come back soon, even though I need to pen off now.

Kisses, and flying kisses...
----<----((@

Foraging into 2012

Dear Diary

If I'd ever felt weird landing into the strange hands of a new month, now I feel completely surreal having crossed into 2012. Basically, it means, I am a year older, there will be new challenges ahead, and I need to remember to write my dates correctly.

I am unsure if the Mayan calendars ending at 2012 signifies the end of the world, or because they simply could not foresee that far beyond their time, and decide to stop creating days that they believe could not exist. Live life to the fullest, as though today were the last. Good deeds to be done, revenge to be sought, and dreams to be attained, leave no regrets.

Christmas gifts were precious - a Blackberry Torch phone, a book on Marie Antoinette, a Braun Buffel limited edition maroon wristlet, an assortment of earrings, perfumes from Elizabeth Arden, skincare products and expensive chocolates.  Thank you dearies, I cherish them all.



I was debating to spend New Year's Eve clubbing, welcoming 2012 with a blast, or to spend a quiet New Year's Eve with family, silently entering the realms of a brand new year with the steps of a slow dance. I  chose the latter, spending it with mon beau's good-looking family having a cosy meal and sharing 3 bottles of red wines with two other men (started with Pinot Noir, then Shiraz, and ending with Cabernet Sauvignon as a nightcap). Fun, but without the annoying jostle and touches of weird, sticky strangers in noisy clubs.

Oh, I just enjoy red wine very much. While I could get pleasantly buzzed from red wine overdose at night, I realize that one can't get hangovers from reds, no matter the amount consumed. Unlike hard liquors or beers, in which the "high" obtained may be fun in the night, feeling mellow and worries-free after consumption, makes me want to die when morning comes. Send me a crate of reds, someone?




Now that the year has ended, what do I Appreciate about 2011?
(i)     hitting my targets despite the lack of efforts at work this year
(ii)     visiting most of the restaurants that crossed my mind at some point in time
(iii)    the vacations both with mon beau and with friends
(iv)    character reform (albeit a mini one - at rediscovery, and at rebuilding)
(v)     new friends
(vi)    the promotion (double - one sanctioned, one attained. Complicated, don't ask)
(vii)    getting started on writing my novels- now waiting for me with pages wide open


What I yearn for in 2012?
(i)  more vacations
(ii) more hard work
(iii) going back to Yoga and starting on French courses
(iv) more focal on my religion (Paganism at that) including being more environmental-friendly
(v) completion of my novels and sending them for publication hunts
(vi) successful liaison with companies so I may venture into the general insurance markets
(vii) more friends and acquaintances gained

Well, thanks for roving the words on this page- I'd do a page revamp soon so that the html and graphics are better. In the meantime, may you have a happy 2012 New Year, with mysteries unraveling like a lover undressing themselves. Ending the night with kisses and hugs.

---<----(@)

On the Last month of 2011

Dear Diary

The final month of the year has finally stolen me out of November’s hands and December greeted me with bouts of fever, nose-bleeds, and the flu. With the Wet Christmas and year-end sales target to worry about, I cannot feel the excitement for the upcoming Yuletide festivities. Where are you Christmas?

Worry not, it does not mean that I won’t set aside time for catching up with the various groups of friends for Christmas dinners, and Christmas shopping. I love giving presents, love the Christmas food and even some carols. Sometimes I do think back on past Christmases spent with friends - the crowded countdown parties, the quieter red wine nights, the elegant Christmas dinners etc.


Black dress with elegant, heavy-threaded stitched collar and high neck


Unresolved mysteries have left me seeking for answers on a daily basis, wondering when another chance encounter would come by? The world is small (made even smaller by technology), but it is extremely huge when you are searching for nameless objects or persons. I may have a shot in January, but come what may.

I also realize that I have just about the best job that I haven’t learned to cherish or work hard enough for. Sure enough, the promotion came too easily for me. Sure enough, I live by comfortably enough by putting in just enough efforts to keep the boat floating, But what was offered me was more. Some living examples around me have shown me thus. How rewards are reaped by harder work – I do not mind the hours do I? Besides the occasional trips, afternoon teas and malls crawls, I do love doing what I am supposed to do for this job. I don’t have to worry about being overlooked for the next ladder climb because of rumors or a little taint on the punctuality records. I do not have to worry about time management or following a rigid schedule. I do not have to worry about being contained in an office for eight hours trying to flirt with the computers.


Cream and lace dress with a black-and-cream back with gold zip


A darker realization has hit me as well. The realization that marks a certain beginning with an end….like how you see two shades of different liquid in a bottle, and shake it so it becomes homogenous? The separation of the beginning stages and the end stages are interlinked, combined into one. Whilst timidly seeking wisdom and experience was the name of the Game, it now becomes mere surface attraction. The stakes are different of course, too. The way I am feeling now? Its like all the mixed emotions are akin to snowflakes swirling around a giant glass ball.



Well, thats the end for the year end updates. I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, enjoy the holiday season, and have a blast this coming 2012 New Year. Kisses to go along with the countdown, whether you are intending to party like crazy, attend some elegant balls, or just enjoy a quiet time with family and friends....smooches...xoxoxo

Nove-l

Dear Diary

Another ten months of Time's slideshows have passed by, leaving me in the strange hands of November. I dont want the rain, I want the flakes.

And I want to make the most out of this month. Samhain (aka Halloween has barely passed and I'm already in the mood for Winter Solstice (Christmas). My feet cant wait to walk the malls,  my eyes cant wait to spot good presents, my hands cant wait to touch fabrics for my gowns, and my lips cant wait to whistle to carols. Its all about the senses.

Passed an exam that should increase my sales portfolio. I didnt need to study much for it - even though I'd been a little fearful after hearing some colleagues mention failing them numerous times. Made some plans for vacations. Started on my writings again.

Made some dates with some of my favoritest girlfriends for catching up - I'm blessed to have you guys. I mean, I love the male friends I have - for a more practical insight into problems, for being there, making me laugh, for your support and brains. But equally I love love love my female friends for the gossips, shopping and catching up sessions, sharing what only we could and would, having fun and solving problems together. You are my gems.

A little bit of spiritual breakthrough. Not going to go into details here, aint even sure if I'm one step closer to heaven, but by all means, put my name down on the waiting list. Still keen to know what I was in a previous life, though. Dr. Goldsberg, why have you stopped doing PL meditations for people?



Been meeting weird people in my line of work. Granted, some of them eventually became friends or acquaintances, but some of them just strike the wrong chords in me. I can very nice, so nice you can take advantage of my niceties, but I can be very nasty too....and I no longer care about what others think of me, because quote, "Character is important because its what you are but reputation is only what others think you are". 

Respect is a very important element everyone needs to learn. Respecting of others' privacy and personal space. Respecting of others' characters and behaviors (ok, this takes a little of the Psychology training I've underwent but never truly put into use). Respecting of others' jobs, races, religions, academic qualifications etc. Respecting of others' social circles - who has the right to criticize if someone is the right company or "quality friends"? I must've stuck with them for a reason, right? Even if you dont like who I'm hanging out with and cant accept them, you should at least accord me the respect not to belittle them in my presence.

And sharing a little of my Top Ten likes and dislikes. Oh well, it doesnt have to be your concern, sweethearts, just take it that I'm doing some self-reviews and comparing the list made a year back.




Likes:
(i) French (the language, I'm taking it next year. The food - every single bit of it. The culture. The history- think Queen Mary Stuart and Marie Antoinette. The arts. The music)

(ii) Wine (red or ice)

(iii) Christian Dior (bags, accessories, cosmetics)

(iv) chocolates (dark, or those with raisins or cherries within their wombs)

(v) Blackberry (I'm this diehard supporter who just wont support any i-phone, pad, pod or otherwise)

(vi) Escapism (movies, books, music - all welcome)

(vii) animals (sometimes I love them more than humans - at least their intentions are purer)

(viii) Power - power suits, power in management, power in driven persons - fucking sexy. Including intellectual conversations- doesnt matter if we can hold quality debates or if I may sound like the interested party absorbing something I can't relate to.

(xi) old-fashioned trinkets like musical boxes, pocket watches, gramophones, old-fashioned antique phones etc

(x) vacations (especially the kinds where I get to infiltrate into the culture, learn and absorb it like the locals do)



Dislikes
(i)  impudence (hate it, hate it, especially when it comes from people I already dislike. Simple things like not knowing when to say thank you or sorry, constantly on the phone messenger when out, interrupting my speech etc )

(ii)  Whiners ( not just those who complain about everything, but also those who complain about others' flaws and commit the same mistakes- helloooooo, self-reflections!)

(iii) Broken promises - if you cannot fulfill it, dont give birth to a promise, please.

(iv)  Noise - I am very sensitive to it

(v) Unfairness - biasness or accusations all fall under this category

(vi) tight spaces - I'm seriously claustrophobic

(vii) Abusers- of animals or humans. I'd do a voodoo doll against you anytime, or poison your drinks. Watch me.

(viii) Odors - how could someone not know it when they have bad breath or smell of sweat?

(xi) Dirt (yeah, I'm somewhat rupophobic)

(x) Being controlled - I do things at my pace and style - take it or leave it. You can't even try to influence the way I feel about someone, I prefer to form my own judgments, thank you. Don't try to be demanding towards me, I set my limits for a good reason.


Well, thats about it, sweethearts. Thanks for reading this. Stay tuned. Sending you off to the next page with kisses and hugs.
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Fall's Entry

Dear Diary,

It is the final month of the Autumn solistices... October.

Fear grips my heart, realizing that the end of the year is drawing near. I need to get ahead soon, and work doubly hard. I need a strong mind, some luck, ardent support and every waking minute to achieve what I have in mind. I need the fires to spear me on, and the stars to shine down on me.

Stupidity has caused me to lose out on a business deal. The light only dawned on me today, that I could've gone by the back door. But I discovered it too late. Nonetheless, spilled milk is not to be wept over, we could always make another bottle.

electric blue vinyl dress with spaghetti-straps

Elegant black dress with unique low neckline

I am looking forward to another trip starting this weekend. It will be a trip filled with nice food, spa sessions and shopping; a place I have never been to before, waiting for me to explore. Best of all, I will be visiting my best friend in the world - it would be such a joy to be with her again. I am bringing with me a close friend so we would have so much fun. I should be leaving my packing of the luggage to the night before my flight.

I just hope that my cough recovers in time so I could have a better time.

People in general are so complicated. The more I learn about them, not only do they get less interesting, but they may unravel sides to them that we do not expect. Sometimes, you know not who to trust anymore.

And sometimes, people blame everything and everyone else when things do not go their way. It just does not dawn on them that they may need to do some serious reflections and rationalization, to make improvements so as to come to terms with Reality. Not my place to say anything, so I shall just leave it.

Oktoberfest is approaching soon - beer and bustwrusts! Samhain is approaching at the end of the month, too. Happy seasons to all out there, sent with much kisses and love

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